My Morning Routine



“My Morning Routine”
(a poem about why I’m always late to everything)
by Jaimie G

My alarm’s set for eight to leave by Nine.
If I leave by nine I’ll be precisely on time.
I wake up to the fifth alarm chime.
It’s 8:25.  Good morning. I’m running behind.

I turn on the shower and use the “loo”
(I think that word’s better than toilet, don’t you?)
I sit there for a minute and plan what to do
By now it’s already 8:32.

I get in the shower and wash my hair quick.
I rinse, condition, shave and try not to slip.
I lather from top to bottom, my conditioner’s on thick
So I stand there and let it rinse out for a bit.

It’s 8:42.  My hair is wet so I grab the blow dryer.
It’s not drying fast enough so I turn the temp higher.
I see the warning label water+dryer = fire.
I think about how silly that is as I contemplate attire.

I move from the bathroom to my closet with speed.
I flip through the denim, khaki, polyester and tweed.
I’m torn between the wrap dress and jeans.
I panic when I see the time, it’s now 8:53.

My husband says “Jaimie, you’re going to be late!”
I look in the mirror, no makeup, no time, it’s 8:58.
I brush my teeth and pull my dress straight.
… Just a little mascara… 2 mins… the world can wait.

It’s 9:15.  Mascara turned into full makeup with blush.
I throw on some lipstick and shoes and I rush.
I grab my coat, wallet, handbag and brush.
I pause at the mirror to review and adjust.

Something is missing, the ensemble’s too plain.
I grab a set of earrings and a thin white gold chain.
I hang a blue pendant from it the color of rain
And choose a bracelet that kind of looks the same.

I ask my husband “Do I look okay?”
He says “Yep. Hurry.  Have a good day.”
I say “Thanks.  Bye.  Wish I could stay.”
I kiss him, pet the dogs and I’m on my way.

It’s 9:32 as I rush out to my car.
Where are my keys?  Dig in my purse.  Here they are.
I buckle my seatbelt, turn the key but didn’t get far
…. I forgot my breakfast bar.

I’m in and out of my house in a flash.
I start my car again OMG! Out of gas!!!
Why does this always happen to me? 
I ask.
I back over the curb and into the grass.

It’s 9:45 when I finally fill up and go.
I should’ve been on the road 45minutes ago.
I get to work late and try to lay low.
I try to play it off so no one will know.

This is how my morning routine usually goes.
Like the post office I’m late rain, sleet, or snow.
I’ve woken up earlier and been late which shows
I’ll be late whenever, wherever I go.

© 2011 | Jaimies | All Rights Reserved


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