Tag Archives: why I hate the NFL

Why I hate the NFL


#1.  Sunday Night Football:  Sunday night football was a bad idea by whoever created it.  It overlaps Jersylicious.  Strike one.

#2. Fantasy Football: Makes you watch every NFL game.  Strike two.

#3. Madden 2012:  Actually more boring than watching football.  Strike three.

#4. Pink Jerseys:  Pink is not an NFL team color.   It used to be the safest color (as a girl) to wear to any sporting event.  Now it’s not. 

#5. Mascots: Don’t make sense. In the real world a lion would eat a ram.  Saints can’t steal.  Cardinals are about as tough as hummingbirds.  It’s just wrong for the patriots to beat the Chiefs.  And dolphins?  If you have to go aquatic…go with a shark, stingray, killer whale, octopus even.  Not a dolphin.   If I had to start an NFL team it’d be the “I – Crush – Yous.”   

#6.  The rules.  Are impossibly confusing.

#7. The announcers.  Are even more confusing.  This is what I hear…. “67 to the 32 yard line.  Second to three.  Inside hand off.  At the first down.  Beautifully done by Scotty Hampton. Set 3 great play by the defensive offensive line to the quarterback.  Full back.  Defensive end.  Biochemical engineering. At&t. Human Genome Project.   Blue 42.  Back to you Ted.”

#8.  The pants. 

9.  “Official NFL” Sports Merchandise.   There’s a lot of it.  I bet you could find an official Green Bay Packers snow globe whistle that doubles as a toaster oven.

10.  The reactions.  I don’t hate this per say it’s just really amusing.  My husband is not a loud man.  If he drops something heavy on his foot you get a barely whispered “ouch.”   If he wins $100 you might get a calm “hey look at that.”  But a touchdown.  Now that gets a completely different reaction.  ” GO!   GO!   GO!   GO GO GO!!!!   TOUCHDOWN!  HELL YEAH!  TOUCH – DOOOOOOWWWWWNNNNN!!!!!!! Did you see that?  DID.  YOU.  SEE.  THAT.  TOUCH DDDDDOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWNNNNN!!!!!  HELL!!!! YEAH!!!!  THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!   Replay.  Replay.  Check this out. THERE HE GOES.  O…O… OH!  OOOOOOOOHHHHH!    TOUCH DOOOOOOWN!”